I am a foregner married to a Lebanese and enjoyed a wonderful life in pre-war Lebanon. During the war we, like many others, had to leave and moved temporarily to the U.S. and later to Dubai. With the war over since 1990 and Lebanon improving remarkably in all aspects of life, my husband and I decided this year to return with our hopes very high that Lebanon was emerging again as the paradise it once was. Our children, now at universities abroad and proud of their Lebanese heritage, are preparing enthusiastically to return after graduation to contribute to getting Lebanon back to prosperity and on a par with advanced nations. We hired an international shipping company to handle the moving of our household and personal effects to Beriut. They were all packed professionally, wrapped in plastic and cartons to protect them from being damaged and soiled, with each item numbered and detailed in a clear packing list. They were loaded with the utmost care into containers and shipped by sea to avoid any potential rough handling at the various border checkpoints separating the UAE from Lebanon.

The shipment reached Beirut harbor and was stuck there for weeks pending never- ending requests for documents needed for clearance, enough to drive anyone insane. After lengthy complications we got the green light to clear our belongings subject, of course, to the "routine customs checks."

So far everything had been legitimate and logical, but on delivery disaster struck as follows. Every box and furniture wrapping had been torn open or removed. Clothes, books, albums, toys, and linen had been thrown out on dirty ground and tossed back as you would throw garbage in a trash can. Some photographs, children CDs and music tapes and pieces of furniture were thrown loose in the container after being damaged. Carpets carefully rolled up had been torn open and soiled by being on the ground. The whole scene reflected a scenario where a bunch of outlaws had viciously vandalized and ravaged everything they came across like invading soldiers do to vanquished enemies. It was a horrible sight and an inexcusable, flagrant violation of my basic human rights.

Our clearing agent, who has been with the family business for many years, was present. After seeing the destruction, he consulted a senior official at the port and said to us afterwards that we should "handle things with care" because he had been told "to his own business or else." This is humiliating. I wonder what sort of people are employed to behave like that. There are no words to describe them save to say they cannot be of sound minds or belong to humankind.

Talking to friends about my ordeal, they told me I was crazy to ship anything to Lebanon without having an inside connection in high places. This is very sad. I thought being an honest and truthful person would be appreciated.

Because of this horrible experience, my vision about Lebanon’s recovery has become black. Although a person who was very fond of Lebanon, I will not encourage my children or anyone else to return for the time being. We have been given one life and to spend it struggling and fighting for one’s basic rights is far too exhausting, and to be decent human beings does not seem to serve any purpose here. The better alternative is to dedicate your life to a country that can appreciate and vallue human beings.

For now Lebanon is not ready for that, even though there are people out there ready and willing to contribute to its rise from the "dark." I am not the only person who has suffered in this way but it is obvious that people do not dare to speak up.

In light of the above, I want to cite what happened to us when we moved, years ago, from America to Dubai. Our personal effects container was cleared from Dubai customs within 24 hours of its arrival without any package being opened up. A customs officer ­ in his own car ­ followed the truck carrying the container to our house, demanded ethically that some boxes be opened for inspection, chose two parcels from the packing list and made sure their contents tallied. He then hoped there would be no annoyance if he extended his inspection to a third package. We obliged willingly and he asked to be excused if he had caused any inconvenience. He then left like a gentleman.

We loved Dubai all the more for the decent treatment and dearly considered it our second home as good as, if not better than, our first home, Lebanon. Therefore, I want to express my opinion about the Lebanon of the future as follows: to truly belong to the league of civilized nations, Lebanese officials ought to learn how to respect the civic and human rights of every individual on its soil, be he or she a citizen, resident or tourist. Otherwise, so much for history and past glory, and so much for Lebanon’s famous reputation as a great hospitable welcoming and generous nation worthy of love, respect and appreciation.

Bertha Nielsen returned to Lebanon last month. Many returning residents complain of similar horrors. Among them is Dr. Said Jannun who recently returned from Florida and who is invited to tell his story.